Hummers!

I recently went on an outing with a gal pal of mine. Her nice family dicided to drive me back home................ IN THEIR NEW HUMMER BABY! AHHHHHHHHHH FUCK hummers ain't shit. I don't see what the big whoop is about these tanks. First of all the name, Hummer, is a misnomer. The bastards do more roaring than humming. Secondly to be so big the interior is the size of a wide tuna can. Finally it drive like you fill with vasoline instead of gasoline. It jerks and shakes like Muhammed Ali.

So, with that being said, if you decide to buy a Hummer please send your testicles/ovaries in a self addressed stamped envelope to 126 Cock Suka Ave.

Good Ol' Dave's True Thoughts!!!

Half-Wits!

Seeing that I had nothing to do on Saturday I decided to go to the half wits party. I waited through emo band after mad screaming band after uninterpretable lyrics band after no playin' ass honkey and the damn half wits never played. Sons of bitches! To top it off the host, Fez, got his beautiful guitar stolen........ ON HIS FUCKIN' BIRTHDAY!!! DAMN!!!

My condolences to Fez. But, it might just karma for making decent folk like me and mike sit through a party with kids in the tightest pants you've ever seen.

His Mama Never Told Him Not To Play With Knives!

A Nut Busting End To The Verb School Year!

Happy Holidays!!!

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6-6-06 is National Emo Kid Beat Down Day.




The Best Holiday Ever!